Saturday, December 13, 2008


"A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. Get creative: be a Secret Santa, a Santasaurus, Candy-cane, a Reindeer, a Chanukah Chicken, a GD latke, Stewardess Santa, Knight Rider Santa, Crusty Peace Punk Santa, the occasional Legless Reindeer, Chanukah Squirrel, Emo-Elf, or the Santichrist.
Just don't wear your++++ing jeans."

These are some of the Santa Rules that are part of the instructions on the SantaCon NYC website, part of the larger site.  If you haven't been to it ---------well folks, you are missing out on quite a site.  And hey, there are many places around the U.S. where it is not too late for you, too, to take part in this annual debacle of debatable debauchery. Personally I grimace when I see them coming, but I'm a fairly good sport and they do have rules (expletives deleted as there are some minors who read my blog):  

"Santa acts like Santa. Be jolly. Belly-laugh. Let people sit on your lap. Give out gifts.
Santa doesn't seek media attention. "Ho-ho-ho" is good. "Publicity ho" is lame.
Santa doesn't get arrested. Please remember the FOUR F's:
Don't fool with kids.
Don't fool with cops.
Don't fool with security.
Don't fool with Santa."

(Note that nowhere in the original four F's did the word "fool" actually appear.)

Basically you can think of the SantaCons as a swarthy group of pirates, mostly male but some female, dressed as jolly old St. Nicholas, who roam the streets of specific cities together on designated days in search of buried treasure and other booty, all in the interest of holly jolly fun.  I think that's pretty accurate.  They're interesting to watch, sort of in the way you watch, say, a really bad singer completely botch the National Anthem -- covering your ears but somehow not quite running away in horror.

This last line from the SantaCon site may sum up exactly what they are all about perfectly: 
"Santa does not make children cry (unless they whine, snivel, or otherwise deserve it).
Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. Feel free to urinate on the parents. Tourists fall somewhere in between the two -- adjust depending on their attitude."


trosekay said...

LOL...your post is only the second time I've even heard of Santacon. The first was a couple of days ago when a friends MySpace page stated that she had picked up her santa suit for the event. Evidently, I've been missing out on something. I'll have to check it out.

Hannah Banana said...

How funny. I would love to see that...or maybe I wouldn't. :)

GardeningJo said...

I'm not even sure what to say in response, lol!